We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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