it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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