That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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