U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
