she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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