just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
