Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
