Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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