I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
