Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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