didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
