it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
