felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
