dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
They took my balls.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
