It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
