i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
