she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize