So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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