And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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