He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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