Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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