If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
