You really coming over, don't trick.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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