At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
This is the high leading the old right now
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
