D3 body, D1 cock
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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