he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
