He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
