hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
