I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
420 ftw
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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