dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
