I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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