It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
