at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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