He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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