Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize