my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
