What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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