Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
