Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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