Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
