i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I love having hate sex.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize