I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
