Screwed.edu
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just invented taco cereal.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
