1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
