Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
