Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
