I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
