Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
