I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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