Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
