I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
