i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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