I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
