It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
