READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
