Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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