yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
