You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
