I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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