Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
