I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
