plz talk dirty to me
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
