I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
