the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
