Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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