Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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