You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
