his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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