its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
